No New Message for That Day

I just finished read my friend's blog (yep, it's Nunu's recent post) and I have to postphone (again!) my recent activities journal... so sorry, Ferindaa (because I spent a lot time with Erin recently and she's been waiting for the reports) and I just realized as well, how same matter can be different if another person(s) handle it.

ya-ah. maybe that's what y'all say when I post this personal -I mean, just verbalize what's in my mind- post, it's boring for you, I know. but look, how could I understand how this happened to me, if I don't tell anybody. so sorry to say, but I must.

28th of November, I woke up earlier; well I even still awake at 12.00 am in the morning because I had many things to do; studied for exams and else. I slept and checked my cellphone -no new message.

I woke up at 3 and checked my handphone once more -no new message, I continued sleeping until 4.

at 4, I woke up and checked my cellphone again -still no new message; I sat down and continued read my history tickler.

woke up because mom was knocking my door. she said, "dek, ibu nganter dana dulu ya, berangkat jam berapa?" I murmured "....uhh I've got afternoon class, bu. jam 9 aku berangkat" she said " okay, bye hon"
got up and again, there's no new message. I sat down in front of my computer and checked my mailbox.

I took a shower, ate my breakfast, went to school -no new message

in my car, walked to cafetaria, sat on a cafetaria bench next to my friends, asked and answered history questions, did the exam -no new message.

lunch break, ate banana and mango, read religion subject materials, watched my culinary group's movie, ate nori, laughed and gossip, did the exam -no new message

ran out the exam room, searched for Mr. Zul, did a speaking test (in arabian hahaha), talked to Ale, decided to jumped from second floor veranda and cancelled it after heard Ale's story, got home. NO NEW MESSAGE!

-by the way, this is what I talked about with Ale while we were waiting for our friends who did speaking test too.
Dwi : (bengong, ngelongok ke lantai satu)
Ale : (ikutan nengok ke bawah) gue pernah loncat dari sini loh, gue kira jaraknya pendek, jadi gue loncat aja. ga taunya tinggi.
Dwi : ..... (gawked) apa, Le? loncat? dari sini? --fyi jarak lantai satu ke lantai dua kurang lebih 3 meter
Ale : Iya, gue kan ceritanya lagi main bola sore sore pas kelas 10, terus bolanya kelempar ke lantai dua. nah terus kan gue ngambil bolanya, gue males turun lagi lewat tangga, yaudah gue loncat aja. gue mendarat kayak gini (menunjukkan posisi berdiri tegak) BRAK! terus gue dari bediri, eh jatoh. kaki gue ga bisa digerakin dua hari kalo ga salah..
Dwi : ......... (speechless) Oh wow.-

and for the rest of the day I studied biology, went to bed. no new message. woke up at 3 the next morning, checked my cellphone, no new message.

addition, I met him after that and I wanted (note : I really wanted to angry with him!) but I couldn't. 2 times happened, I just can't. don't put I-didn't-know-anything-baby smile, or maybe you just really don't know? hey hon, I'm a bit angry, but I don't hate you, understand?

....instead of angry, I smiled and cried deep down inside.

anything to solve this problem? however, I'm not good in express my current feeling to him.